Obesity in the United States Research Paper Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1500 words

Obesity in the United States - Research Paper Example Obesity not only brings concern about health but it adds to the financial burden too. Obesity augments the health care costs. Estimates reveal that obesity accounts for approximately 10% of yearly medical expenses, increasing the obesity-associated medical costs to $147 billion in 2008. Obesity has reached an alarming position in USA, and two well distinguished categories have been demonstrated namely obese and extreme obese. Findings disclose that over one-third adults of United States adults were found to be obese during the year 2007–2008 (Flegal, 2010). According to The National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (NHANES), the incidence of obesity in the United States could be estimated by means of data for height to weight ratio. The prevalence rate of obesity display that there was a steady increase in obesity equally in both the sexes belonging to all ages from 1976 -1980 to 1988-1994. On the other hand the trend in obesity augmentation between 1988-1994 and 1999-2 000 was significant in other ages except for the males belonging to the age between 40 to 59 years. While data analysis from 2001-2002 to 2003-2004 recommended escalating trends since 1999-2000 in males and not in females (Flegal, 2006).? Concern Government is showing great concern about the "obesity epidemic" as 60% Americans are obese. In Fat Politics, Eric Oliver unearths the real story behind America's "obesity epidemic." According to Oliver a handful of physicians, government administrators, and health researchers, along with financial patronage commencing the medicine and weight-loss business, have crusaded to miscategorize more than sixty million Americans as "overweight," to enhance the health perils of being fat, thereby promoting the thought that obesity is a destroyer illness. Scientific evidence was also reviewed by Oliver displaying a slight proof also that obesity grounds so many ailments and demises or that loss of weight could make people healthier. Our concern with obesity is stimulated more by communal discrimination, routine politics, and business earnings as compared to the scientific fact. This kind of prevailing misinformation, according to Oliver, is the factual predicament with prevailing obesity in America. Creating a belief that one has to be lean and thin, proponents of the "obesity epidemic" are pushing millions of inhabitants for America towards hazardous surgeries, crash diets, and harmful diet drugs. This fat obsession is becoming a jeopardy for most of the Americans (Oliver, 2005). Discussion Overweight is followed by obesity in many cases where weight control measures are not considered or given significance. It occurs due to discrepancy between the consumption of food and the utilization of calories. The quality of food also matters, if the diet is rich in fats and carbohydrates then surplus fats starts accumulating leading to obesity. A child who is obese will grow to be an obese adult. The triggering factors could be varied, starting from loneliness to eating discipline.

Shannon made a large impact Assignment Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 250 words

Shannon made a large impact - Assignment Example As mentioned earlier, Shannon’s paper ‘Cryptography: A Mathematical Theory’ was meant for use by a limited number of people. This classification was due because the theory as proposed by Shannon could be used by opposing forces to decode encrypted messages both from the American troops during wartime. Furthermore, it was essential to keep the content of the paper confidential to protect the technology from access by unauthorized people both within the country and in other countries, especially the Germans (Shannon, p 4). The importance of ensuring secrecy remains evident in his writings, where he focused on exploring the possibility of realizing perfect secrecy. ‘It is shown that perfect secrecy is possible but requires, if the number of messages is finite, the same number of possible keys†¦Ã¢â‚¬â„¢ (Shannon, p. 5). Later, Shannon would ensure that the enemy could not decode encrypted information between the British Prime Minister and the US President at the

Workplace Literacy Program Essay Example for Free

Workplace Literacy Program Essay Workforce development There is a symbiotic relationship between skilled workers and productivity. In an ideal workplace, workers must have sufficient knowledge of their individual tasks and be equipped with the necessary skills in order to better perform their work, avoid mistakes, deal with other organizational members without any difficulty, and increase the level of production. Nowadays it is necessary for every job applicants to be competitive, literate, skilled at writing and listening skills, and be able to perform a given task. It is important that human resources must be able to adapt to technological and technical developments taking place in a workplace or a particular industrial setting. Workforce development is indispensable in bracing the competitiveness of human resource through carefully planned programs and activities (Giguere, 2008, p. 238). This kind of development is not just the concern of individual employees but most importantly the company or employer himself. Both entry-level employee and existing personnel must be able embark on training skills in order to enhance their performance in a variety of service, interpersonal and administrative areas. In this regard, there are various areas to be improved on the part of human resource. To secure career development workforce must be able to improve their human resource skills through a systematic and practical programs. When it comes to technical aspects, it is also imperative to improve the workforce knowledge in computer networking and to embark on basic computer training. The problem why a workplace is saddled with low productivity is because there is no existing or fully developed workforce development program aimed at honing the skills of both entry-level and old personnel. Workplace literacy program, on the other hand, is aimed at enhancing the literacy level of both the employed and unemployed (Drago-Severson, 2004). This has been the focus of the federal government for nearly three decades in order to reduce the level of adult illiteracy. This only means that literacy has a huge impact on businesses which all seek to acquire literate and competitive workers. Apart from being a national priority, there is also a growing concern among businesses in regard to increasing adult literacy (Goad, 2002, p. 123). We are all aware of the huge impact of adult illiteracy on businesses. This concern was goaded by fast-paced technological development and the risk of foreign competition. The only answer to this scenario is an increased adult literacy and to improve workforce basic skill requirements. Recruitment plan Like any literacy and workforce development program in the past, recruitment is on a voluntary basis. Anyone who thinks he/she needs to improve his/her literacy skills is welcome to enlist or enroll in the program. However, those identified that will attend this program are both teenage and adult people who lack the necessary literacy skills to exist in a work environment. The main target of this program are people like Catalina who aspires to improve her career or work, which is the only means to improve her family’s economic standing and to have a quality time with her children. There are a lot of Hispanic and other immigrants in the United States who are fit to undergo this program, especially now that most businesses demand better literacy skills and competency among job applicants. The recruitment process may be made through building connections with businesses and through direct contact with potential subjects. Pre-assessment Plan Considering the ongoing economic crisis there is a need to implement this program whose purpose is to ensure career development, increase adult literacy rate, and raise workers’ productivity and competence through corporate-based and practical lessons and activities. Apart from this, this is the time wherein immigrants have to be more competitive in order to be acquired and to exist in the job marketplace being dominated by American citizens. Initially, there should be difference between workforce development and workplace literacy program based on the practical industry requirements. Workforce development should mainly center on soft skills or human resource skills, while workplace literacy should focus on basic skills needed by an employee. Instructional Design As already stated above, there should be a gap between workforce development and workplace literacy program. For the workforce development program, three areas should be mainly considered— a) human resource skills; b) computer networking; and c) basic computer training. For the human resource skills, the following courses or lessons shall be implemented: Handling difficult people: the purpose of this lesson is to train or motivate people how to deal properly with other organizational members, particularly the snotty executives and employers. Certainly this centers on human relations within a particular workplace. Other things to be considered are problem approaches and problem-solving techniques, as well as supervision of difficult workers. Developing positive attitude: This lesson shall focus on motivating employees to think big, to think out of the box, and to think independently. Communication Skills: some of the important subjects to be tackled here are effective communication, giving and receiving criticism, giving and receiving feedbacks, meeting skills, as well as business writing. Conflict Management: some of the important lessons to be taken here are the effective ways to manage conflict in the workplace, giving and receiving criticism, resolving and managing conflicts, negotiating and arbitration, among others. Effective listening: this lesson shall focus on good listening skills— on how to be an attentive listener. The role of communication and listening shall also be tackled in order to better inform the program attendee. Costumer service skills: This must be mastered by all program attendee whether they choose to work as costumer service provider or not. The lessons to be tackled here are the effective ways to deal with costumers, how to be in control when dealing with costumers, serving them, giving and receiving costumer feedback, and how to achieve outstanding costumer service. Career development and personal improvement (Rothwell, Gerity Gaertner, 2004, p. 1): The main focus of this lesson is to uplift employees’ self-esteem. Other subjects to consider are goals and setting them, enhancing positive assertiveness, time management, team-work skills, and successful long-term learning (Gallo, 2004). Interviewing skills: For entry-level personnel this aspect is very important. Program attendees should be informed of what to expect during the actual interview session. Leadership training: Under this lesson, some of the subjects to be considered are the importance of team leading, how to manage a team, mentoring and coaching, effective project management, team building, and motivating at work. For basic computer training, the following areas must be focused on: desktop operating systems (e.g. Microsoft Windows XP), suites, word processing, spreadsheet, presentation graphics, desktop publishing, database, internet, and network operating systems. On the other hand, for workplace literacy program, the following must be taken into account (Hull, 1997, p. 8): Knowing how to learn: This gives the attendee the importance of long-term learning, why there is a need to learn, and how to learn. Reading, writing and computation skills Listening and oral communication Creative thinking and problem solving When it comes to the philosophical framework of the program, it must be based on Objectivism wherein self-interest should be taken as the moral goal of an employee. A rational philosophy is needed in every workplace so that workers may be able to think rationally, independently and effectively. Instructional Staff All instructional staff must possess at least industry-based knowledge or work experience. Members of the instructional team must have finished college or taken up masters, but what is important is that they have an objective industry-based knowledge and that they have been in the profession for at least two years. However this two-year requirement is not necessary as long as the result of the written examination, interview and then practical examination show that they are qualified to be member of the instructional staff. Administrative and Support Services For the support services, the program attendees shall need the following: library with study room, computer laboratory for basic computer training, decent classrooms equipped with a computers, projectors, chairs and study tables. There should also be a community room wherein all attendees shall be free to interact with each other in order to from personal and professional bonding. As for the administrative services, there should be an administrative office to be composed of administrative officers. Administrative staff shall include an institute or program secretary, checkers, evaluators, and all other administrative staff needed for the success and continuation of the program. A program website, as well as a practical Information Technology infrastructure is also needed to better serve the needs of the program attendees. Program enrollees or attendees shall be encouraged to submit their works and projects through the website in order for them to enhance their computer and communication skills. Evaluation and Assessment Plan Workforce development and workplace literacy programs are indeed important instruments in raising adult literacy and making their competitive in the job marketplace (Boyle, 2001, p. 11). However, the success of this kind of program depends upon the effectiveness of the instructional design which is to carryout the underlying aims and objectives of the program. There is a need to split workforce development and workplace literacy program because they have different objectives and ends. Workforce development is synonymous to career development, which can only be achieved through improvement of human resource skills. The purpose of this program is to encourage workers to apply whatever they have learned to their workplace. On the other hand, workplace literacy program aims to reduce adult illiteracy in the industrial setting through vocational skills. Under this overall program, what is being developed and improved are not just the basic literacy and computer skills of the workers, but also interpersonal and goal-setting skills, their self-esteem, as well as costumer service and leadership abilities. With all these factors and design in mind, there is no doubt that this program will succeed and will be able to produce more able, more literate and more competent workers in the future. Resources: Boyle, M.E. (2001) The new schoolhouse.: Literacy, managers and beliefs. Westport, CT: Prager. Drago-Severson, E. (2004). Becoming adult learners: Principals and practices for effective development. NY: Teachers College Press. Gallo, M.L. (2004). Reading the world of work. Malabar, FL: Krieger. Giguere, S. (2008). More Than Just Jobs: Workforce Development in a Skills-based Economy. Paris, France: OECD Publishing Goad, T.W. (2002). Information Literacy and Workplace Performance. Santa Barbara, CA: Greenwood Publishing Group. Hull, G. (ed). (1997). Changing work, changing workers. Albany, NY: State University of New York Press. Rothwell, W.J., Gerity, P.E. Gaertner, E.A. (2004). Linking Training to Performance: A Guide for Workforce Development Professionals. Washington, D.C.: American Association of Community College

cinco de mayo :: essays research papers

  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã¢â‚¬Å"Mexicamos, Viva Mexico† is cried out by the Mexican president every 16th of September as done by Miguel Hidalgo in 1821, after the traditional bell ringing is finished the national anthem is sang. Similar to the 4th of July celebration with parties, fireworks, ceremonies, except they also get bullfights also.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  In search for independence a priest decided to take matters into his own hands and lead a revolution against the Spanish government, but he was executed immediately. His execution inspired another priest to continue the rebellion and brought together the Criollos, but more auguring was to continue until the country found a way of government both sides were satisfied with.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Once the Criollos found out that the French forces that had occupied Spain, had imprisoned their leader King Ferdinand VII, they decided that they wanted to take control of the government. Leading the revolution was a catholic priest named Miguel Hidalgo. They wanted to establish Mexico as an independent country. Noone wanted confrontation with Spanish military though. Word spread fast and soon enough the Spanish was informed of a rebellion against them. That left Hidalgo with little time he had to act fast and start the rebellion early. In Dolores, Hidalgo gave his famous speech known as the Grito de Dolores, to Indians and mestizos that were called upon to rebel against the Spanish. The whole idea of the rebellion was so the Mexicans could govern their own land and that was enough drive for a war so the battle began.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  The begging of the battle was very gruesome and bloody instead of having a political fight. The Indians had to fight against the Spanish artillery with there clubs, slings, axes, and machetes. His men were outnumbered, and some Indian communities wouldn’t fight because the battle was so bloody. Hidalgo had to retreat and was later executed in 1811. In 1813 another priest continued Hidalgo’s struggle. Jose Maria Morelos y Pavon attracted the Criollos. He came close to Mexican independence by bringing together a congress that wrote a constitution for a Mexican republic. He was also later captured by the Spanish and executed in 1815. In 1816 King Ferdinand was back on the throne. All rebels were killer by the Spanish and Ferdinand misunderstood the Criollos movement for there traitorous ways he put heavy taxes on them and organized a strong army to stop any revolution movement. Most Criollos could not trust Spain.

Offer and Acceptance

For a Simple contract to be valid one party must make an offer and the other accept it (see: Acceptance of offer). The offer will usually indicate the form the acceptance should take (e. g. , in writing, by post), and may indicate when the acceptance will be deemed to have occurred (e. g. , on delivery of the posted acceptance, see: Acceptance of offer by post). In seeking to prove that a contract was in existence, it will be necessary to show that there was a definite offer. Certain things look like offers, but aren't always what they seem. Here are some examples. Invitations to treat are not offers (see: Invitation to treat). For example, putting an item on display in a shop window with a price label is not an offer, it is merely an invitation to treat. Pre-contractual negotiations, particularly in Conveyancing, may have the appearance of offers, but it will be necessary to satisfy the courts that a real offer has been made. Tenders (see: Tender) are not offers unless they are construed as a Unilateral contract. An offer can be withdrawn (revoked) at any time up to acceptance, provided it is communicated appropriately to the offeree. There are a few of complications with this. Placing a notice of the withdrawal in the post does not constitute the withdrawal; it has to be received and understood by the offeree (see: Byrne vvan tienhov en (1880)). If the offer forms the basis for a unilateral contract, it can be difficult to revoke. Typically the offerer must take reasonable steps to revoke the offer in the same form as it was originally made. For example, if the offer was made in a newspaper, then it should probably be revoked the same way. Moreover, it is particularly problematic if a unilateral offer is revoked before full completion of the act that constitutes the acceptance. In Carlill v Carbolic, for example (see: Carlill v carbolic smoke ball co (1893)), Mrs Carlill was able to demonstrate that she had completed the acceptance, so Carbolic could not have escaped its obligations be revoking the offer. However, suppose Mrs Carlill had started using the Smoke Ball, and written to Carbolic expressing her wish to claim the compensation if it failed. If Carbolic had withdrawn the offer at that time, could the agreement be enforced? There is no clear ruling on this; the decision in Errington v Errington sees to imply that once the acceptors consideration is executory (that is, Mrs Carlill has begun using the Smoke Ball), then the offer cannot be revoked (see: Errington v errington (1951)). There are, however, some cases with the opposite conclusion. An offer may be self-terminating if the terms of the offer include, for example, a time limit for acceptance. If no time limit is given, an offer may be deemed by the courts to have expired after a ‘reasonable time'. This will be the case even if the offerers have not explicitly revoked the offer. The death of either the offerer or offeree, prior to acceptance, probably constitutes a revocation of the offer.

Nature of Thought Paper

Nature of Thought Paper Robert D. Morris II University of Phoenix Online PHL 251 Devon Smith * * Nature of Thought Paper * * The idea of thought in and of itself requires critical thinking to define. Thinking is an abstract concept that could take on virtually any definition provided to it. In fact, I quote something I once stated which was â€Å"Critical Thinking is our personal way of receiving information (whether it be verbal, written, visual, or received by one of our other senses), evaluating the information against our beliefs, experiences, situation, external factors and ultimately coming to a decision. (Morris, 2012). * Having stated and quoted that, there are many times when my perception of a situation does not represent the reality of the situation. One’s personal influence on how they interpret facts and information through their cultural beliefs and emotions can have drastic impacts on the output and their view of the situation. I can remember back to a recent j ob I applied for. I was very interested in working for SAP America. I had been supporting SAP solutions at a public utility I had been working for, but I felt like at SAP I could make a larger impact. Although SAP is a large company with many careers paths, there were two career paths I considered. The first was position as a consultant which is a position where I would help utility companies who have purchased the SAP software implement them. This was a position much closer to what I was already doing with my current company. The second and the one in which I applied for was a position where I develop solution suites and then demo the solutions to the utilities considering purchasing software to meet their business needs. Upon researching the position, I had come to a specific understanding of what the role was and it turned out the role was much different than I thought. Why? It was most likely perceptual blocks that caused the disconnection. * Before I discuss the process I used to arrive at my perception of the position, I’d like to describe what I thought the position was as opposed to what the position actually was.First, I believed the position was a technical position that required technical skills in which the primary role is to configure the demo system, be present during demos to demonstrate the system and assist the sales team during technical discussions. * The reality of the role is that this position actually is a sales position. Technical skills are not required but can be helpful, and the individual fulfilling this role in the sales process is there to articulate the value of the software, actively participate in sales discussions, and focus more on selling than on advising, including cross-selling and up-selling. The primary disconnect is that I believed the role to be more technical where the individual supported the sales team, but the role is directly on the sales team. * The perceptual process that was used when arriving at my view of the position looked like the following: * Do I have any personal experience to draw from? * Do I have any information or documentation to review? * Can I find new or more information to review? * Is there anyone I can talk to that can provide information? * Once I gather enough information, I then evaluate the information.I determine the source for credibility and begin to derive a position. In some cases, no matter how much information is available and how credible the source of that information, personal barriers can get in the way of honestly interpreting the information. * One of the reasons there may have been a difference in my perception of the position and the reality of the position could be that in addition to the logical components of my perceptual process, there were also components at a subconscious level influencing my perception as well.In my psyche, I had a picture of the position and I believe I wanted that picture to hold true. Therefore, even as I obtained mor e knowledge and facts, I may have subconsciously readjusted the way I consumed the information in order for my perception to hold true which as a perceptual block. * When I think back as to how I came to a perceived reality of the position I was applying for, I think the personal barriers that came into play during this process were: denial and rationalization.Personal barriers are personal beliefs or subconscious thoughts that hinder our ability to honestly and accurate assess a situation. In my case and in this situation, I attempted to rationalize what I heard and what I read into logical thoughts that met my expectations. I denied taking what I heard at face value and opted to put my own perceptive spin on the information. * Personal barriers can play a major role in thought and how one perceives reality.In my case I suffered from rationalization and denial, but there are other barriers such as religious barriers, enculturation, projection, and anger (Thinking 2007) to name a fe w. It is important to recognize these barriers in advance when possible; otherwise resulting decisions can have lasting impacts. In my case I accepted a position that is not exactly what I was looking for. I have a great job, work with great people and for a great company, but the work is not what I was expecting. Some days I really enjoy it where as others not so much.If I had a firm grasp on the role exactly as it is I may not have applied for the position, but I’m not sorry I did and I cannot complain. * REFERENCES Kirby, G. R. , & Goodpaster, J. R. , (2007) Thinking: An interdisciplinary approach to critical thinking (4th ed) Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Prentice Hall Morris, R. (2012, October 17). Re: Wk 1 DQ-1 â€Å"What is Critical Thinking? † [Online forum Comment]. Retrieved from  https://classroom. phoenix. edu/afm215/secure/view-thread. jspa? threadID=47848193 Nature of Thought Paper Nature of Thought Paper Robert D. Morris II University of Phoenix Online PHL 251 Devon Smith * * Nature of Thought Paper * * The idea of thought in and of itself requires critical thinking to define. Thinking is an abstract concept that could take on virtually any definition provided to it. In fact, I quote something I once stated which was â€Å"Critical Thinking is our personal way of receiving information (whether it be verbal, written, visual, or received by one of our other senses), evaluating the information against our beliefs, experiences, situation, external factors and ultimately coming to a decision. (Morris, 2012). * Having stated and quoted that, there are many times when my perception of a situation does not represent the reality of the situation. One’s personal influence on how they interpret facts and information through their cultural beliefs and emotions can have drastic impacts on the output and their view of the situation. I can remember back to a recent j ob I applied for. I was very interested in working for SAP America. I had been supporting SAP solutions at a public utility I had been working for, but I felt like at SAP I could make a larger impact. Although SAP is a large company with many careers paths, there were two career paths I considered. The first was position as a consultant which is a position where I would help utility companies who have purchased the SAP software implement them. This was a position much closer to what I was already doing with my current company. The second and the one in which I applied for was a position where I develop solution suites and then demo the solutions to the utilities considering purchasing software to meet their business needs. Upon researching the position, I had come to a specific understanding of what the role was and it turned out the role was much different than I thought. Why? It was most likely perceptual blocks that caused the disconnection. * Before I discuss the process I used to arrive at my perception of the position, I’d like to describe what I thought the position was as opposed to what the position actually was.First, I believed the position was a technical position that required technical skills in which the primary role is to configure the demo system, be present during demos to demonstrate the system and assist the sales team during technical discussions. * The reality of the role is that this position actually is a sales position. Technical skills are not required but can be helpful, and the individual fulfilling this role in the sales process is there to articulate the value of the software, actively participate in sales discussions, and focus more on selling than on advising, including cross-selling and up-selling. The primary disconnect is that I believed the role to be more technical where the individual supported the sales team, but the role is directly on the sales team. * The perceptual process that was used when arriving at my view of the position looked like the following: * Do I have any personal experience to draw from? * Do I have any information or documentation to review? * Can I find new or more information to review? * Is there anyone I can talk to that can provide information? * Once I gather enough information, I then evaluate the information.I determine the source for credibility and begin to derive a position. In some cases, no matter how much information is available and how credible the source of that information, personal barriers can get in the way of honestly interpreting the information. * One of the reasons there may have been a difference in my perception of the position and the reality of the position could be that in addition to the logical components of my perceptual process, there were also components at a subconscious level influencing my perception as well.In my psyche, I had a picture of the position and I believe I wanted that picture to hold true. Therefore, even as I obtained mor e knowledge and facts, I may have subconsciously readjusted the way I consumed the information in order for my perception to hold true which as a perceptual block. * When I think back as to how I came to a perceived reality of the position I was applying for, I think the personal barriers that came into play during this process were: denial and rationalization.Personal barriers are personal beliefs or subconscious thoughts that hinder our ability to honestly and accurate assess a situation. In my case and in this situation, I attempted to rationalize what I heard and what I read into logical thoughts that met my expectations. I denied taking what I heard at face value and opted to put my own perceptive spin on the information. * Personal barriers can play a major role in thought and how one perceives reality.In my case I suffered from rationalization and denial, but there are other barriers such as religious barriers, enculturation, projection, and anger (Thinking 2007) to name a fe w. It is important to recognize these barriers in advance when possible; otherwise resulting decisions can have lasting impacts. In my case I accepted a position that is not exactly what I was looking for. I have a great job, work with great people and for a great company, but the work is not what I was expecting. Some days I really enjoy it where as others not so much.If I had a firm grasp on the role exactly as it is I may not have applied for the position, but I’m not sorry I did and I cannot complain. * REFERENCES Kirby, G. R. , & Goodpaster, J. R. , (2007) Thinking: An interdisciplinary approach to critical thinking (4th ed) Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Prentice Hall Morris, R. (2012, October 17). Re: Wk 1 DQ-1 â€Å"What is Critical Thinking? † [Online forum Comment]. Retrieved from  https://classroom. phoenix. edu/afm215/secure/view-thread. jspa? threadID=47848193

Funny Birthday Card Messages and Quotes

Funny Birthday Card Messages and Quotes Theres not much better  than a spot-on,  hilarious  line  to tickle your funny bone. Everyone wants to wish the birthday person Happy birthday in their own style so why not use some humor? Some people like to use inspirational birthday quotes  to express their good wishes, while  others enjoy making witty comments about birthdays. However, the ones that are always appealing are the funny birthday quotes. Humor can be a great stress-buster, especially if your comedic timing is on point.   How Much Is Too Much? Jokes are always great icebreakers, but what if you cross the threshold of decency? What if your joke, instead of causing ripples of laughter, causes bubbles of fury? To be able to deliver a funny birthday message, you need to be sensitive towards others. If the birthday person has a low tolerance for personal jokes, steer clear of the common pitfalls. That means, no jokes about weight, color, race, gender, or any physical deformity. Politically incorrect humor can boomerang, especially when used in birthday cards. Funny birthday wishes that tease someone about their habits, fears, or idiosyncrasies are usually considered acceptable.Humor also has to be tailored keeping in mind your relation to the birthday person. If you are sending a birthday wish to a very close friend or family member, you can be more wicked in your humor. But you may want to think twice about using dirty humor with your  boss, for example. The Done to Death Humor Some jokes are fun the first time you read them, however, when you read the same joke year after year, you tend to get tired of it it is hard to even smile over the stale joke. If you want to pep up your friend with funny quotes, make sure that you have not used them before. If you cant create your own humor, use the help of random funny quotes to create your own humorous line. Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say Humor is a potent medium of communication, and sometimes you run the risk of over communicating. What does that mean? Well, some jokes are full of innuendo, leaving room for different types of interpretation. So watch out for the ones that take off on a tangent. If you intend to use a pun, make sure that you are not offending anybodys sensibilities. How to Use Funny Birthday Messages To successfully pull off a side-splitting birthday message, heres what to do: Think about the person you are sending the birthday message to, and ask yourself, Whats unique about this person? Perhaps she or he is lazy, a workaholic, perhaps she has many pets or is a stickler for cleanliness. Then use this information to scout around the Internet for funny birthday quotes. Having found one that fits the bill, you can either use the original or tweak it to suit your humor style. That way, youll have an original greeting every time you send out birthday wishes. Famous Funny Birthday Quotes   Bette DavisOld age is not for sissies. ​ Satchel PaigeHow old would you be if you didnt know how old you are?​ Mitch Hedberg I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didnt have one. So I got a cake. ​ Doug CouplandHandmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time. ​ Norman WisdomAs you get older, three things happen: The first is your memory goes, and I cant remember the other two.   Franklin AdamsThe worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other. ​ Al FormanI occasionally get birthday cards from fans. But it’s often the same message: They hope it’s my last. ​ J. P. SearsLet us respect gray hairs, especially our own.​ Maurice ChevalierOld age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative. ​ Benny HillHave you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? ​ Friedrich NietzscheBlessed are the forgetful: for they get the better even of their blunders. ​ Josh BillingsEvery man has his follies and often they are the most interesting thing he has got. ​ Jane AustenYou have delighted us long enough. I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but youre twenty minutes. Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason. ​ Bill CosbyA word to the wise aint necessary its the stupid ones that need the advice. ​ C. E. M. JoadMen are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. ​ John P. GrierYou are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime. ​ Jim GaffiganPie can’t compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody’s drunk in the kitchen. ​ Steven WrightFor my birthday I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect. ​ Dorothy ParkerIf you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. ​ Colonel SandersTheres no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You cant do any business from there. ​ Jack HandeyBefore you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.